Words Words Everywhere

Words are a funny thing. They can be used to inspire people, condemn people, ridicule and hurt, uplift and encourage. The same words in the same sentence in the same context can be taken in several different ways. Around and around it goes, but the interpretation can be so different causing confusion and drama where none was intended.

The meaning of the words lie in each person. Their experience, their baggage, their background, their environment, all seem to play a part in the outcome.

Angst, arises and in the end where are we? The thoughts and intentions make or break friendships and families.

The phrase “this is a drama free zone” comes to mind, but at the end of the day, we’re human. Drama free is not possible, unless of course you have no emotions or you hermit yourself away.

Words alone in a vacuum are nearly impossible to interpret. That may be why texts go sideways. There is no inflection, no tone and while it sounds good in your head as you’re typing it, the recipient is not in your head. Insert emoicon here — sometimes that is not enough.

Some people get lost in words by over thinking them, they run from them in a never ending stream of activity, they avoid them in an alcoholic haze.

It’s hard to get away from the bombardment of words, with news and faux social media news on a 24/7 spin cycle, how do you know which words have meaning, which ones are true? It’s enough to crush a person to dust.

I grew up in that miraculous generation of having no online presence to standalone computers to laptops to mobile phones carrying the Internet everywhere. Words are always there and never ending and on a loop to convince you of this or that to the point where societies world wide are de-evolving.

Which words do you want to hear? Which words do you choose to believe in? Is there a difference?

There are a lot of things going on in our world today. I come from a military mindset where the word meant something because of the actions which supported the words and this has made all the difference.

Words in of themselves are meaningless without the backup of action. When actions and words are not in sync, believe the action — it’s always the truth.

So if words mean nothing without action why are we killing each other? Why is there angst between friends and family? It’s not the words, it’s the mismatch of action with the words.

It is the actions of a few holding the world in a hostage word game.

We all deal with it differently, but I find it easier to turn it off, to walk away. To pick and choose which words to hear, understand, and believe. I try to be careful to make my words and actions match.

I make my living by listening to my clients, by writing out what we hear and the expectations of what we hear. I am careful to select the right words from a filter (with a couple exceptions) so that people understand me. I’m not always successful in saying what I mean or hearing what is said to me, but I try and I keep trying until I’m clear on what I heard and what I say and making sure all parties involved are on the same page.

I am a writer by trade so I find it utterly fascinating to construct sentences and change the word order and watch the meaning change. It’s a wonderful craft of watching meaning and images come to life on the blank page; if the world was just like that there would be no conflict.

Unfortunately, the writer in me is a skeptic after all this time. Words cannot stand alone in a vacuum, it has — it must take on it’s meaning from current or past actions. It is the actions that give life and meaning to the words. After all, isn’t that how all the great American novels are born?

Choosing You

It is easier to lose yourself than it is to find yourself.

We start out in life with amazement and awe and courage. Over time we give in to bravado and, most of us, give into society.

Imagination and differences are frowned upon. A special few are born with the strength to defy all and do what is in their best interest all the time and never lose sight of that. Some give in without knowing it; little by little they take the easy way and put aside what is in their best interest and by extension, they put aside them.

Over time those of us that took the easy way, come to realize that the sacrifice of putting aside what they believe was in their best interest means giving up a part of them.

The delusions we take on in the guise of acceptance, in the guise of going with the flow, in the guise of contentment changes us forever. I have come over recent years to realize that I had given up on me, the world, people, family and friends because it was easier to listen to those that I held in high regard, those that I trusted — whom I should have been able to trust. I perpetuated this false illusion by thinking I was content. It is a word I have come to look at with contempt.

Why must we give away or compromise what and who we are?

Content is not happy, content is just good enough. Content lowers your expectations of who and what you are; who and what you want to be.

We need to find the inner courage to return to our original path. The scariest question of all time: can I find me?

Sad Sign by Regina HerryJersey | Writing Rants

Once the decision is made to bushwhack back to who we are, what is in our best interest, we realize just how much we lost, how much we gave away in time, dreams, and happiness.

It is these first steps which are the easiest (only realized in hindsight). The darker times wait a few months and in my case a couple, of years. It showed me who my friends truly are. It showed me that my family was still there. None of them in the same way as I had left them, but still the support to pull me through, to focus on the light and not the dark was enough to keep me going.

I chose me. I chose the harder path of finding me again, of reaching outside my comfort zone to get back to who I had aspired to be growing up. Little by painful little steps, I have brought back into my life the joys I had lost along the way.

I have reached beyond what was a contented delusion to find new friends, a new place to live, a better support system. I have brought back into my life the joy of riding, writing, traveling, and exploring nature on land and on water. While some key components have yet to materialize, I have better happier days knowing I am choosing to find me again and to be OK with that, to be accepting of the time lost, to be OK with knowing that better happier times are ahead of me, just waiting for me to be in the right place and time.

Do you have the courage, the stamina to return to your path, follow your dreams, be who you want to be?